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xixi_asinshe
princess xixi (she-she as in my pronouns)
female diogenes of uk rap
伦敦制造精神小妹儿
co-founder @bumpah.ldn
member of @neoillusion2023
mgmt and bookings: @soundarentertainment
OUT NOW ON ALL PLATFORMS
THIS IS #TRNNYTRAP
prod. @soma_0000001 and me
mix and master @bigbigwizard
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
as aapi month passes the baton to pride month my feed is once again assaulted with two consecutive months of unbearable, asinine discourse related to communities i have been cursed w/ belonging to..... so here is a much needed #intervention
wasian meetups are perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happened this year and need to never happen ever again. the organisers should be paraded around times square for 72 hours while everyone throws tomatoes at them
BUT monoracial asians moral grandstanding abt them as tho some cringe ppl wanting to meet up in a park with other cringe ppl that look like them (without considering the optics) is also v pointless and tbch a bit weird... some monoracial Asians lowk have this whole complex abt wasians they should rly unpack
bi women with straight boyfriends who complain abt gay ppl being mean to them seriously need to get a grip and realise that their need to feel "valid" will never come from external sources + attaching so much value to an identity label is inherently reactionary when the entire point of queer liberation is so these labels no longer exist
BUT everyone else needs to stop giving them attention and/or using them as an excuse to engage in misogyny like can we pls just starve these topics of oxygen ngl i hate the fact that I'm even talking abt it here
stop devoting ur time and energy to petty squabbles which r just thinly veiled personal grievances framed thru the lens of sanctimonious moral posturing when rly ur just overly concerned w cringe ppl who have been shaped by a cringe society doing cringe things which have little to no material or systemic impact on ur life all while our rights r being stripped away and we r being driven towards extinction by a billionaire nonce doomsday cult
finally if u are in london MAKE SURE u attend the action on friday june 12th at woolwich crown court 10am~5pm
anyway 齐天亚圣 wishes a happy pride month to all trans women even the ones i dislike
as for the rest of u its v much a case by case basis
protect the bricks bc when the revolution comes they will be the first ones throwing themselves while the rest of u are still bickering
new music soon
叶公好EMO GRRRLZ OUT NOW ON ALL PLATS
THIS IS #TRNNYTRAP
prod. @soma_0000001
mix and master @bigbigwizard
video shot n edited by @brick.foot.soul
featuring @theblackparad3 @amberrmezzo @psychedelicmarni
#undergroundrap #emo #ukrap #newmusic
BE ATTITUDE // BE CREATIVE // BE YOURSELF
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
TEETH is in service of creativity.
Powered by Creatives Campaign.
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
BE ATTITUDE // BE CREATIVE // BE YOURSELF
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
TEETH is in service of creativity.
Powered by Creatives Campaign.
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
BE ATTITUDE // BE CREATIVE // BE YOURSELF
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
TEETH is in service of creativity.
Powered by Creatives Campaign.
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
BE ATTITUDE // BE CREATIVE // BE YOURSELF
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
TEETH is in service of creativity.
Powered by Creatives Campaign.
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
BE ATTITUDE // BE CREATIVE // BE YOURSELF
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
TEETH is in service of creativity.
Powered by Creatives Campaign.
SHOW LOVE // SHOW TEETH
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
some highlights from
@neoillusion2003 radio takeover 🪬
@xixi_asinshe
@future8963
@basi_84_
@nagi050808
@ir000n
📍 byyb.radio
115 changle rd, shanghai
🪴
full set online now!
tune in this weekend🔊
-
#byyb #byybradio #shanghairadio #byybshanghai #表演一波
叶公好EMO GRRRLZ OFFICIAL MV OUT NOW
directed and edited by @brick.foot.soul
produced by @sophieyaubillington.director
video vixens @psychedelicmarni @amberrmezzo @theblackparad3
THIS IS #TRNNYTRAP
#emo #ukug #undergroundrap #udg
~announcements～
THIS EVENING at 730~830 i will be playing a radio set 4 the lovely ppl at @toha.radio Taipei ❤️
other than that i have TWO NEW tracks out!! the first one is SICKO from bby @thisisghozt 's debut album, this verse is acc one of my most iconic ones radio has been assaulted by it plenty of times and i acc wrote it for this track specifically... i wish ig would let me use the track as the sound for this post... but anyway stream BAUTISMO easily one of the best projects of the year 🩸
second is emo grrrlz out now duh lmao
and ofc I'll be back to the uk this week n my first show back is FLOW with @queereast at the @icalondon curated by yours truly xoxo
~announcements～
THIS EVENING at 730~830 i will be playing a radio set 4 the lovely ppl at @toha.radio Taipei ❤️
other than that i have TWO NEW tracks out!! the first one is SICKO from bby @thisisghozt 's debut album, this verse is acc one of my most iconic ones radio has been assaulted by it plenty of times and i acc wrote it for this track specifically... i wish ig would let me use the track as the sound for this post... but anyway stream BAUTISMO easily one of the best projects of the year 🩸
second is emo grrrlz out now duh lmao
and ofc I'll be back to the uk this week n my first show back is FLOW with @queereast at the @icalondon curated by yours truly xoxo
~announcements～
THIS EVENING at 730~830 i will be playing a radio set 4 the lovely ppl at @toha.radio Taipei ❤️
other than that i have TWO NEW tracks out!! the first one is SICKO from bby @thisisghozt 's debut album, this verse is acc one of my most iconic ones radio has been assaulted by it plenty of times and i acc wrote it for this track specifically... i wish ig would let me use the track as the sound for this post... but anyway stream BAUTISMO easily one of the best projects of the year 🩸
second is emo grrrlz out now duh lmao
and ofc I'll be back to the uk this week n my first show back is FLOW with @queereast at the @icalondon curated by yours truly xoxo
~announcements～
THIS EVENING at 730~830 i will be playing a radio set 4 the lovely ppl at @toha.radio Taipei ❤️
other than that i have TWO NEW tracks out!! the first one is SICKO from bby @thisisghozt 's debut album, this verse is acc one of my most iconic ones radio has been assaulted by it plenty of times and i acc wrote it for this track specifically... i wish ig would let me use the track as the sound for this post... but anyway stream BAUTISMO easily one of the best projects of the year 🩸
second is emo grrrlz out now duh lmao
and ofc I'll be back to the uk this week n my first show back is FLOW with @queereast at the @icalondon curated by yours truly xoxo
~announcements～
THIS EVENING at 730~830 i will be playing a radio set 4 the lovely ppl at @toha.radio Taipei ❤️
other than that i have TWO NEW tracks out!! the first one is SICKO from bby @thisisghozt 's debut album, this verse is acc one of my most iconic ones radio has been assaulted by it plenty of times and i acc wrote it for this track specifically... i wish ig would let me use the track as the sound for this post... but anyway stream BAUTISMO easily one of the best projects of the year 🩸
second is emo grrrlz out now duh lmao
and ofc I'll be back to the uk this week n my first show back is FLOW with @queereast at the @icalondon curated by yours truly xoxo
FLOW 海纳百川 | 16.05.2026 | ICA
@queereast presents a one-night programme curated by Sirui Chang (@xixi_asinshe) centring the queer ESEA diaspora and beyond, showcasing movement in all its forms through music, dance and live performance.
FLOW - a name inspired by the Chinese idiom 海纳百川 (“the sea accepts a hundred rivers”) - brings together artists across seemingly disparate communities, sounds, scenes and disciplines, drawing out both contrast and connection.
Rooted in underground club culture, experimental electronic music and forward-thinking lyricism, FLOW centres movement as both expression and an inalienable right, persisting even when restricted.
All art exists in dialogue with the world around it. Nothing exists in a vacuum. There is no such thing as art without context, and the death of context is the death of thought.
While this night centres the queer ESEA community, the lineup was curated to reflect a wider truth: most of what we understand as modern music, from pop to experimental electronic, from underground raves to fine art institutions, would not exist without the foundational work of the global Black diaspora.
These movements have never been isolated. They emerge through constant exchange, carrying influences across cultures, scenes and histories.
What appears distinct is often deeply entangled.
even
where borders are drawn
even
when division and segregation is
enabled
through propaganda and
enacted
through policy
culture continues to move
borrowing
transforming and
re-emerging in new forms
All rivers flow to the ocean.
Curated by Sirui Chang.
Featuring
@akikoharuna
@areyoumessy
@chiobutch
@jellyeeee
@dryakubslab
@moreofthem_
@xixi_asinshe
Poster design by @fain__zhang
9pm~2am
Tickets available on ICA website
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
Yang Jizhai / Yang Xiawei 杨季斋 / 杨夏畏 16th June 1931 - 29th November 2025
当我两岁时，姥姥搬到英国。妈妈说姥姥当时只是来帮忙接送我上下幼儿园的。但后来我才明白：因为文革的缘故，她和妈妈很早就被迫分离。所以她来英国，不只是“帮忙” ——也许是为了第一次真正意义上当母亲。
我父母在文化、性格、价值观等方面上有着天壤之别。我的家庭环境被争吵、冲突与各种矛盾占据，而我的内心也正是在这些矛盾之上建立了长久的困惑。
作为独生子、混血儿、海外华裔，作为在南方华侨社区里长大的东北人，作为英国家庭中唯一的中国孩子——在这些处处难以融入、充满混乱的环境里成长，姥姥是混乱中唯一的安稳。她是烈日下的树荫，是沙漠里能喝到的水。当父母完全不了解我，学校的同学全都欺负我时，她才是我真正意义上的同龄人。
外婆你还记得吗？只要爸妈一嚷嚷，我就躲进你房间默默地复习、看书、打游戏。我当时那样只是让我活下去的方式，没想到如今却成了我仅存的美好童年回忆。
姥姥总说我是个心地善良的好孩子。我年轻时总以为，那是因为你不了解我才这么说。长大后才慢慢明白，你才是最懂我的那个人。仔细想想这一点也不奇怪，真正一手把我带大的人本来就是你。
当我出柜时，你起初强烈反对。但我一直记得你写给我的那封信，你说你只是想“拯救”我，怕我走邪路。我当时用佛教的道理向你解释我为何是女孩子，你就完全接纳了我。我估计你早就知道我的真实身份了吧？毕竟，这世上最了解我的人就是你。
我二十岁那年你回国了。之后我们相处的时间变得越来越少，也就是许多中国孩子共同的愧疚。但今年，我终于能回到故乡回到你身边，陪你、照顾你、保护你，也终于像个大人一样承担家庭的重任，不让那些虚情假意、只惦记你财产的“亲人”伤害你。能为你尽这一点点孝心是我这一生最大的荣幸。
从今天起，我将遵循你的身教，努力按照你留给我的模样成为你希望的样子：真诚、善良、忍耐、坚忍且包容。如果我能做到这些那才算真正的成功。
大家都说我长得不像爸妈，却一眼就能看出我们俩的血缘关系。这句话，比任何称赞都更让我骄傲。
我记得今年春节，你照例在清晨五点起床修炼。那时我熬夜做歌，也还没睡。我们聊了许久。最后，你轻轻说了一句：“孩子，你的中文现在也太好了吧”
我当时只是含糊地敷衍了几句谦虚的话。但我后悔那时没有告诉你：我的中文能这么好，全是因为你。是因为从小与你牙牙学语，而后来努力精进中文，也只是为了与你聊得更深，走得更近
我边写边手指发抖、泪流满面。葬礼办得太突然，我来不及回国亲身陪你走完最后一段路
所以我只能及时写下我的心意
这是我此刻唯一能做到的孝顺
安息吧，外婆
你不用再为我担心了
因为你，我知道如何照顾好自己
因为你，我以悉悉公主的名义帮助到了这么多人
因为你，我明白自己活在这世上的意义
因为你，我从你心目中的“牛牛”长成了今天的常思锐
当我还活着，这个世界的画布上始终留着你的风骨
我人生里每一个横、竖、钩、撇、捺，都是为了勾勒你的身影。
-永远以你为心的外孙女儿
not beating the csm allegations with this one
“work me up” dropping april 18th on all platforms.
pre-save now link in bio.
teaser edit @wing_yan_sophie @elifjam
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