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(TW 🖤)
Today is the death anniversary of my brother, Raymond. It's been 12 years since he left and instead of posting pictures of us, or writing words about my hero and this eternal heartache, I thought I would share my story in honour of him. But also, for You.

There is much power in sharing stories and especially when those stories are vulnerable. I am a huge advocate for Mental Health, it is super important to talk about and I speak openly because I want to help others feel less alone in this world. I want to bring people together. This world feels so dark and scary and uncertain. It feels HEAVY. And it feels overwhelming. I wanted you to know that you're not alone. Not really. And I wanted you to know that you are enough. And you are worthy. And you are so very loved.
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"Moments fall around us like rain. Or snow. Or confetti. You have to live. Even if you don't know how to. You have to live and here's a secret. There is no without. I am not gone. I am scattered into so many pieces. Sprinkled in your life like new snow. Forgiveness is warm like a tear on a cheek. Think of that and of me when you stand in the rain. I love you completely and you love me the same and that's all, the rest is confetti." The Haunting Of Hill House

Raymond, you are my hero. Forever, for always and for all eternity. 🖤

@bitethebulletstories
@farrahaviva

Steed: Little Thunder.
Rider: from Down Under.
🖤

📷 @migueltakespix

These are what I call my #heartcruxes.
They are made up of ink, acrylic and watercolour, and threads of different sorts. This is Batch#2 and I'll be starting Batch#3 very soon. All of these already have homes but if you want one, DM me. They take quite the while to make and I will keep you up to date with it's progress. I will even stitch your initials in futhark runes into it.

Why a heart? Because a heart is the size of your fist. It reminds to me follow it. To fight for what i want and for what I believe in. A better world. A world where we are connected in vulnerable ways. Deeply. Feelingly. A world where we don't feel so alone. And when we hug, it is the closest point at which our hearts are beating so close together.

When I make my (your) heartcruxes, I am able to channel my insides into my work. I think of the person I am making them for. I feel like a part of me is woven into the pieces and parts that make them up. I feel as though I am sending parts of myself out into the world. Perhaps to connect. Perhaps to tell you how loved you are. How so not alone you are. How enough you are.

I feel honoured to have them scattered throughout. Thank you ❤🌹

♡

#heartcrux #heartcruxes #vulnerabilityisstrength #wildheart #followyourdreams #acrylic #watercolor #watercolours #inkart #anatomicalheart #anatomicalheartart #lgbtqartist #lgbtq

Quite recently I did my first drag performance as Dragbeard the Pirate! Here is a clip of part of my performance at the @joywholived festival for KidPower! (thank you for having me). An homage to @ourflagonmax but especially to a dear friend @puertoricaninja (I think you're pretty great). @jiavani thank you for seeing in me a King. I am grateful for you. And you're a pretty rad Host, too! I love this new part of myself that I have discovered. Definitely prepare for future performances!

📷@sarahnearyvo

🖤

#dragkings #dragbeard

🐪

#tbt #bikaner

Thrilled that the ABSOLUTE LAST PUBLIC SCREENING of The Paradise Road will be playing in my home state of Connecticut at the awesome @norwalkfilmfestival !!! This is your FINAL chance to see our multi-award-winning short film on the big screen! Thanks to my pals at the festival for having us! Join us at the Norwalk Film Festival March 20-22nd! 💋
#TheParadiseRoad #wlw #queer #film #representationmatters

Leif just turned 5 the other day and I've been trying to find the right thing to post and then I came across this video of me trying to put Leif down for bedtimes. Hehe. And I sit here and I feel the emotions and feelings wash over me and I know that he has changed my life in ways I thought could never.

I am every day in awe of him. He teaches me to see the world through his eyes and as I see through the windows of his soul, I, in turn, look through baby Mandahla's eyes again. And it's healing and I am grateful. I am so grateful. His imagination is inspiring. The stories he tells. His gentle and kind soul. This entire whole human. He's extraordinary. And then the way he looks at me, the way he screams "DAHLA" when he sees me, the force of his hugs when he wraps his arms around me, the conversations we have. He also thinks the same of me. He also thinks I'm extraordinary. And that is healing and I am grateful.

This video captured two years ago, shows the ways in which we love one another, the games we have always played. I am his Dahla and he is my love-heart, my darling-heart, my Leif.

Happiest of birthdays Dearest Love-Heart.
You are so loved.
🖤

If I could go to any concert in time and space. It would be Jeff Buckley.

A lot of love to the world right now.
We all need it.

🖤

Cheers 🖤

This will always be my go to karaoke song.
And I'm not at all sorry.

📷 @vincent_madero

Cheers.
Just a reminder that you're loved.
🖤

📷@nicolepacent

This is my uncle.
My mum's real brother.
And I absolutely love and adore this man.
That's all.
(Also, this song was one of my mum's favourites)
📷 @rachelfarr