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🌞 Healing toxic shame and self hatred

Internalised guilt is a very silent, very heavy burden.
So heavy that eventually it develops into toxic shame.
It is the voice in your head reminding you of something you did, something you said, it pinches you without warning, causing you to physically cringe at yourself.
Usually we inherit this. It is a great ancestral core wound, the telephone game of the family tree. You learned how to feel about yourself from somewhere.

Now.. You can feel ashamed for feeling ashamed ♾
keep struggling against that place, hating yourself that you do it, scared of it

OR

You can do something new.
You can see it for what it really is:
✨a beautiful coping mechanism✨
Designed to keep you safe.
If you tell yourself it is wrong, then you are adding more wood to the fire.
Don’t you see? It is not the reminder that hurts, it’s the cringing AT it.
You cannot shame yourself out of toxic shame.
You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself.

When you greet this part of you with compassion, you already make it obsolete.
Give yourself what you NEED. ACCEPTANCE.

When you do this consistently that voice loses its power over you, you are no longer afraid of this part of yourself, you can stop running away from yourself because…
YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

This voice does not want to hurt you!! It’s not evil! You gotta ask yourself what is the positive intention behind it. Where does it COME FROM.
Then LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. Radically.
You are amazing !!! There is no part of you to feel ashamed about. Let your humanness unfold 🦋

🌞 Healing toxic shame and self hatred

Internalised guilt is a very silent, very heavy burden.
So heavy that eventually it develops into toxic shame.
It is the voice in your head reminding you of something you did, something you said, it pinches you without warning, causing you to physically cringe at yourself.
Usually we inherit this. It is a great ancestral core wound, the telephone game of the family tree. You learned how to feel about yourself from somewhere.

Now.. You can feel ashamed for feeling ashamed ♾
keep struggling against that place, hating yourself that you do it, scared of it

OR

You can do something new.
You can see it for what it really is:
✨a beautiful coping mechanism✨
Designed to keep you safe.
If you tell yourself it is wrong, then you are adding more wood to the fire.
Don’t you see? It is not the reminder that hurts, it’s the cringing AT it.
You cannot shame yourself out of toxic shame.
You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself.

When you greet this part of you with compassion, you already make it obsolete.
Give yourself what you NEED. ACCEPTANCE.

When you do this consistently that voice loses its power over you, you are no longer afraid of this part of yourself, you can stop running away from yourself because…
YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

This voice does not want to hurt you!! It’s not evil! You gotta ask yourself what is the positive intention behind it. Where does it COME FROM.
Then LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. Radically.
You are amazing !!! There is no part of you to feel ashamed about. Let your humanness unfold 🦋

🌞 Healing toxic shame and self hatred

Internalised guilt is a very silent, very heavy burden.
So heavy that eventually it develops into toxic shame.
It is the voice in your head reminding you of something you did, something you said, it pinches you without warning, causing you to physically cringe at yourself.
Usually we inherit this. It is a great ancestral core wound, the telephone game of the family tree. You learned how to feel about yourself from somewhere.

Now.. You can feel ashamed for feeling ashamed ♾
keep struggling against that place, hating yourself that you do it, scared of it

OR

You can do something new.
You can see it for what it really is:
✨a beautiful coping mechanism✨
Designed to keep you safe.
If you tell yourself it is wrong, then you are adding more wood to the fire.
Don’t you see? It is not the reminder that hurts, it’s the cringing AT it.
You cannot shame yourself out of toxic shame.
You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself.

When you greet this part of you with compassion, you already make it obsolete.
Give yourself what you NEED. ACCEPTANCE.

When you do this consistently that voice loses its power over you, you are no longer afraid of this part of yourself, you can stop running away from yourself because…
YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

This voice does not want to hurt you!! It’s not evil! You gotta ask yourself what is the positive intention behind it. Where does it COME FROM.
Then LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. Radically.
You are amazing !!! There is no part of you to feel ashamed about. Let your humanness unfold 🦋

🌞 Healing toxic shame and self hatred

Internalised guilt is a very silent, very heavy burden.
So heavy that eventually it develops into toxic shame.
It is the voice in your head reminding you of something you did, something you said, it pinches you without warning, causing you to physically cringe at yourself.
Usually we inherit this. It is a great ancestral core wound, the telephone game of the family tree. You learned how to feel about yourself from somewhere.

Now.. You can feel ashamed for feeling ashamed ♾
keep struggling against that place, hating yourself that you do it, scared of it

OR

You can do something new.
You can see it for what it really is:
✨a beautiful coping mechanism✨
Designed to keep you safe.
If you tell yourself it is wrong, then you are adding more wood to the fire.
Don’t you see? It is not the reminder that hurts, it’s the cringing AT it.
You cannot shame yourself out of toxic shame.
You cannot hate yourself into loving yourself.

When you greet this part of you with compassion, you already make it obsolete.
Give yourself what you NEED. ACCEPTANCE.

When you do this consistently that voice loses its power over you, you are no longer afraid of this part of yourself, you can stop running away from yourself because…
YOU ARE NOT A PROBLEM THAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

This voice does not want to hurt you!! It’s not evil! You gotta ask yourself what is the positive intention behind it. Where does it COME FROM.
Then LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. Radically.
You are amazing !!! There is no part of you to feel ashamed about. Let your humanness unfold 🦋

✨I want to talk about self expression and the power of vulnerability✨

I truly believe this year is the great death of the people pleaser.

Throughout my life I have been faced with this ‘blocked’ feeling deep in my stomach. Like being in a glass bowl, unable to see why I couldn’t ‘get out’. I have had arguments with myself in my head, furious that I was not able to move forward even though the opportunities kept coming around.
But then..
I stopped resisting it. I took the time out and sat with it.. I mean really sat with it, and this fragile, childlike part of me started to speak.

‘I don’t want them to hate me anymore’

I was terrified and I didn’t even know it.
A master of self sabotage, hiding myself, birthed from a deep fear that I would be misunderstood or faced with rejection for embodying my authentic self.
Pleasing others in the name of ‘safety’.
All these painful memories that I’d locked away came surging to the surface.
grown men belittling me as a child, boys taunting me, girls turning girls against me.. etc. I felt like there was something wrong with ME! that I was too ‘different’.
Of course the more I tried to be accepted, the further away from myself I felt.
But then I realised that rejection only hurts because of the meaning that we give it.
by releasing our fears we are free to be a portal for authentic self expression.

YOUR EXPRESSION IS YOUR TRUTH, IT IS YOUR BLUEPRINT OF CREATION.

Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back anymore.

- What parts of yourself have you hidden in order to be ‘accepted’?
- What memories of rejection are you still holding? (And trying to avoid recreating)
- What do you think rejection means about you?

Then look clearly at those who have rejected you. What does it really mean? See the truth.
It was only ever about them, it was never about you.
Ultimately it does not imply anything about you.

‘until the unconscious is made conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.’

✨I want to talk about self expression and the power of vulnerability✨

I truly believe this year is the great death of the people pleaser.

Throughout my life I have been faced with this ‘blocked’ feeling deep in my stomach. Like being in a glass bowl, unable to see why I couldn’t ‘get out’. I have had arguments with myself in my head, furious that I was not able to move forward even though the opportunities kept coming around.
But then..
I stopped resisting it. I took the time out and sat with it.. I mean really sat with it, and this fragile, childlike part of me started to speak.

‘I don’t want them to hate me anymore’

I was terrified and I didn’t even know it.
A master of self sabotage, hiding myself, birthed from a deep fear that I would be misunderstood or faced with rejection for embodying my authentic self.
Pleasing others in the name of ‘safety’.
All these painful memories that I’d locked away came surging to the surface.
grown men belittling me as a child, boys taunting me, girls turning girls against me.. etc. I felt like there was something wrong with ME! that I was too ‘different’.
Of course the more I tried to be accepted, the further away from myself I felt.
But then I realised that rejection only hurts because of the meaning that we give it.
by releasing our fears we are free to be a portal for authentic self expression.

YOUR EXPRESSION IS YOUR TRUTH, IT IS YOUR BLUEPRINT OF CREATION.

Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back anymore.

- What parts of yourself have you hidden in order to be ‘accepted’?
- What memories of rejection are you still holding? (And trying to avoid recreating)
- What do you think rejection means about you?

Then look clearly at those who have rejected you. What does it really mean? See the truth.
It was only ever about them, it was never about you.
Ultimately it does not imply anything about you.

‘until the unconscious is made conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.’

✨I want to talk about self expression and the power of vulnerability✨

I truly believe this year is the great death of the people pleaser.

Throughout my life I have been faced with this ‘blocked’ feeling deep in my stomach. Like being in a glass bowl, unable to see why I couldn’t ‘get out’. I have had arguments with myself in my head, furious that I was not able to move forward even though the opportunities kept coming around.
But then..
I stopped resisting it. I took the time out and sat with it.. I mean really sat with it, and this fragile, childlike part of me started to speak.

‘I don’t want them to hate me anymore’

I was terrified and I didn’t even know it.
A master of self sabotage, hiding myself, birthed from a deep fear that I would be misunderstood or faced with rejection for embodying my authentic self.
Pleasing others in the name of ‘safety’.
All these painful memories that I’d locked away came surging to the surface.
grown men belittling me as a child, boys taunting me, girls turning girls against me.. etc. I felt like there was something wrong with ME! that I was too ‘different’.
Of course the more I tried to be accepted, the further away from myself I felt.
But then I realised that rejection only hurts because of the meaning that we give it.
by releasing our fears we are free to be a portal for authentic self expression.

YOUR EXPRESSION IS YOUR TRUTH, IT IS YOUR BLUEPRINT OF CREATION.

Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back anymore.

- What parts of yourself have you hidden in order to be ‘accepted’?
- What memories of rejection are you still holding? (And trying to avoid recreating)
- What do you think rejection means about you?

Then look clearly at those who have rejected you. What does it really mean? See the truth.
It was only ever about them, it was never about you.
Ultimately it does not imply anything about you.

‘until the unconscious is made conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.’

My EP is here! Magic :: Ultra ! Link in bioooooooo 🦋🦋🦋🦋

Shadow work :: a timeline

Shadow work :: a timeline

Shadow work :: a timeline

Shadow work :: a timeline

Shadow work :: a timeline

Is that my lighter

🦋 extreme hermit hiding. This year has been such a rollercoaster. A wild ride in India, 3 deaths, a mutated arm from a Rottweiler, escaping to the Netherlands for the longest week of my life, blissful space, energetic healing. On again. Off again. And so on.
I have been furious at memories that arise while brushing my teeth.
I have disintegrated my own ground and remodelled it - Not from sand this time, but from concrete. I am so grateful to everyone that has supported me no matter how distant 🦋

🦋 extreme hermit hiding. This year has been such a rollercoaster. A wild ride in India, 3 deaths, a mutated arm from a Rottweiler, escaping to the Netherlands for the longest week of my life, blissful space, energetic healing. On again. Off again. And so on.
I have been furious at memories that arise while brushing my teeth.
I have disintegrated my own ground and remodelled it - Not from sand this time, but from concrete. I am so grateful to everyone that has supported me no matter how distant 🦋

Elixir of luck 🌑

‘If this hasn’t broken me, I’ll never break’ 🌙 Frank Oceans ‘Cayendo’ and the beautiful animation by @callier.epps