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over the years of meditating with the help of various apps and virtual/digital tools, i’ve always felt fussy about the way most people facilitate meditation.

so i want to clarify: meditation is an opportunity to land directly into everything and anything within the present moment - which casually includes all space time. how tf do you do that? you guide your awareness towards anything which is absolutely True - an anchor. that anchor could be repeating phrases, a mantra, breath awareness, etc.

don’t fall for the idea meditating is just disassociating. if you’ve tried and it’s never stuck, i urge you to get curious about what isn’t landing and why. sure, sitting still and quiet is difficult but is the recorded voice offering a way to address that difficulty? is the practice holding fully the possibility that life contains “good” and “bad”? does the meditation connect you to your body - a site of connection to the spatial and temporal world … or does it guide you to disassociate into your mind alone? do you leave the meditation feeling any more connected to your body, the world, this moment?

meditation is a radical practice - small moments to divest from dominant systems of oppression. curious to learn more? tools and recordings and so much more in bio.

the moment you have ALL been waiting for ... slow down, diva 2026 is back.

@the_lavender_scare and i look forward to breathing and moving and connecting and zonking delicately under that magnificent tree with all the cicadas. this year, we're planning to get a little playful, tapping into moments of vulnerability to repave networks of loving connection with friends old and new.

for the uninitiated, this is a moment for what straight yt men love to call this "non-sleep deep rest". i just call it ... chilling out. invitation to breath intentionally, sit, and move gently. anchoring into your body, returning to Source awareness.

questions? thoughts? keep 'em to yourself. tell your friends!!! (also someone please design these flyers for me, i'm tired).

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

ICYMI: some film & video from my performance @ L&SD in Brooklyn. still shook my first outing post-classical-western-deconditioning was on this lauded sound system.

film 📸: @zamilo - thank you for capturing the feeling of the moment so beautifully!

major thanks to @dominikamazurova for asking me to play on the bill. deep gratitude to every single person who has encouraged me and offered feedback and otherwise uplifted me creatively. i felt each of you in the room - even if you weren't there - and the energy was hypnotic & galvanizing.

what's next? refining this into a score so any of you could recreate and interpret this work. sharing in more cities (hi detroit!!). expanding with vocals, effects, communal participation.

full recording (audio & video) over on patreon - 🔗 in bio hehe.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

gluten tag gay ppl and others!

here to announce/share some cute things:

1. recently released another mixtape on soundcloud! icy sounds, breath/voice to warm. 🔗 in bio. full description/tracklist on patreon!

2. humbled to be invited to perform @lightandsounddesign on 3/31. alongside folks speaking and others musiking, i’ll be playing a piece for tape, looped cello, and group vocals. TIX AND MORE INFO 🔗 in bio! looking forward to sharing this “ice melting” piece in more cities - hmu if u curious hehe!

3. absolutely and completely: fuck the war machine.

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

major shouts to @pom.pompom.pom crew for organizing an absolutely immaculate dance this past weekend. each time i visit toronto, you canadians seem to reactivate a sense of play within me. a blessing a blessing a BLESSING!!!!

my heart swells to a new capacity knowing and dancing with you all 💕

see u on the next dance floor!!!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

!! happy birthday !! happy new year !! portals are open !! love is abound !! persistent joy !! kiss ur beloveds !!

inspired by @lizpelly on many fronts.

first, her book Mood Machine details how Spotify (and streaming services writ large) are nefariously force feeding a scrumptious nothing burger into mass culture media consumption. amassing our subscription service fees, checks from corporate music execs, targeted ad data revenue, etc., their profits are then immediately funneled straight to the war machine. absolutely worth witnessing the extensive years of research she poured into the book.

in the book (and her insta posts), she also helps us understand the purpose of the annual music review - to insist that your favorite music is the shit you put on repeat nonstop. so in simple defiance of all the cognitive dissonance buried within that idea, i am sharing some of my favorite albums i’ve listened to this year. yes, some i played a lot. some were particularly inspiring to hear in person. some were released this year. all of them are incredible works of human creative faculty.

if you can’t find them on a streaming service, maybe you’ll have to pay the artist in exchange for a copy on bandcamp :) maybe u might find something new, without the help of an algorithm.

this flesh vessel completed 30 revolutions around the sun, cheers to swirling around for the 31st.

starting to cry a bit while my thumbs type this out because this year was exactly what i needed. i feel so seen and loved. i asked for reminders every single day that love is everywhere. i begged for bats over the head reminding me of the love within and around me. i kept waiting for them, never really got a firm swing. i realized the universe doesn’t really work like that. love is slow and progressive and swaddling.

friendships this year saved my life. i’ve connected this year in ways and means unlike any time before in my life. i cherish each of you so deeply, and can only hope our love makes me cry a lot more this coming year.

as a sign of my gratitude, i am humbly releasing the first (vinyl) mix of many to come - music for you, vol. 1. it pains my classical training brain to release something imperfect but this year taught me that’s exactly what i want to be sharing - with seams visible. i didn’t plan too much, just rolled with a loose inspo from a page from F*ggots & Their Friends. cuz you … are a friend of a eff-ay-gee honey. link is up ur ass.

trees in fall/winter are NOT DEAD!! they are ever expanding their root systems, which grow to often be three times as large as their branches.

i recently posted a meditation on my patreon to invite your pondering. what lessons can you learn from nature during this time - despite how we often think the cold is brutal and awful and sad?

patreon.com/slumptuous

sign up for my email list in bio, too :)

VD: snow covered ground around a yellowed ginkgo tree. the ginkgo is releasing its leaves so quickly the leaves seem to be snowing.

track ID: Purelink - Looked Me Right In The Eye - Faith

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

a new 10 min meditation is up on patreon - offering thoughts of trust//support in this season where we are encouraged to let things fall away. this one feels really special for some reason, hope you can take time to listen.

you can search "slumptuous" on patreon, or just patreon.com/slumptuous. lmk if you have thoughts or questions.

first week free, every month thereafter is $3 (10cents/day).

love you <3

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

moving toward MORE LIFE. more and more and more life!!!!!! MORE LIFE!!!!!!

following joyous impulses BECAUSE they soil the imperfect. life is temporary and cyclical - mess making is part of the process but cleaning up isn’t!! earth doesn’t have a maid service but it still makes beauty so riddle me that one, bitch. björk says “i thought i could organize freedom … how scandinavian of me.” hmmmm……

hope is innate within you and me and us. i love you and so i think i want to disrupt our limiting patterns of consciousness - which might feel annoying. more LIFE!!! more and more and more and more life!!

selfie for the algo to announce:
i am now hosting a virtual online meditation on MONDAY MORNINGS @ 10AM EST! (previously fridays but i work now 🤓)

this new change will also commence a months-long series based on Larry Mitchell's "The Fa*gots & Their Friends Between Revolutions" - a love letter to the alphabet mafia. Each week, we'll ponder how selected writings (& Ned Asta's drawings!!!!) connect to Yoga/Liberation. these fairies/queens/women quite literally practice yoga. an exploration into the depths of how/why queerness is liberation - let's get into it!

absolutely no reading or book required!

🔗 in bio to sign up for email list - zoom link is included weekly.

lmk if you have questions. i'm so excited for this one!!!

selfie for the algo to announce:
i am now hosting a virtual online meditation on MONDAY MORNINGS @ 10AM EST! (previously fridays but i work now 🤓)

this new change will also commence a months-long series based on Larry Mitchell's "The Fa*gots & Their Friends Between Revolutions" - a love letter to the alphabet mafia. Each week, we'll ponder how selected writings (& Ned Asta's drawings!!!!) connect to Yoga/Liberation. these fairies/queens/women quite literally practice yoga. an exploration into the depths of how/why queerness is liberation - let's get into it!

absolutely no reading or book required!

🔗 in bio to sign up for email list - zoom link is included weekly.

lmk if you have questions. i'm so excited for this one!!!