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A few things in life that are universally true…

No one is ‘perfect’ ✨

We all have a need to feel safe 🤍

We all need connection 🌿

And we each have a fundamental human right to experience what it is to be loved 💛

This garden — created for @thechildrenssociety and sponsored by @project.giving.back — was designed by @patrick_clarke_landscapes and an extraordinary team of people who collectively gave their time, skill and heart in pursuit of something that truly matters: raising awareness for teenage mental health.

Rooted in Japanese wabi-sabi philosophy, the garden reclaims discarded materials to create a safe, reflective haven for young people — imperfect, honest, and deeply beautiful for it.

Patrick gave such thought to every aspect of the planting - resilient plants, young plants - their presence here demonstrating their potential for growth.The young people themselves helped design key elements — the seating, the stained glass panels, the planting. Their voices are literally woven into every corner of this space 🌸

The garden will be permanently relocated to Leighton Buzzard Youth Centre in Bedfordshire, where it will serve as a dedicated wellbeing space for the young people who need it most.

👉 Link in stories to vote for what I genuinely believe is a hugely deserving People’s Choice garden — please take a moment if you can to vote , it means everything.

Because we ALL have the right to feel safe, loved, and held 🤍

Thank you to @julieskeltonphoto for the stunning photos 🙏🏼

#TeenageMentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #WabiSabi #GardenDesign #WellbeingGarden YoungPeople ChildrensMentalHealth HorticultureHeals GardenForGood TherapeuticGarden PeoplesChoiceGarden ChelseaFlowerShow SustainableDesign GardenTherapy NatureHeals MindfulGarden YoungPeoplesMentalHealth GardenCommunity DesignForGood LeightonBuzzard

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do at bedtime… is nothing at all.

No reading.
No teaching.
No correcting.
No rushing to sleep.

Just sitting quietly beside our children in the dark.

And waiting.

Because children so often begin to speak in the spaces where nothing is being demanded of them.

“How was your day today sweetheart?”
“Any code reds?” ❤️

( code reds being a tip I share in my book ‘There’s No Such Thing As Naughty’ that allows a child to sharetheir worries more readily )

And then… we listen.

Not to fix.
Not to solve.
Not to rush the feeling away.

But simply to bear witness.

Children don’t need us to remove their big emotions.
They need us to offer a safe space for them to land.

Because emotions are a human process. When allowed space, they tend to do what they were designed to do…
move through.
release.
settle.

Sometimes the bedtime offload is the nervous system finally exhaling after a long day of holding it all together.

And often, what heals our children most is not advice…
but our calm, quiet presence beside them while they unravel - and quietly resolve

🌙#parenting #parentingtips #katesilverton #theresnosuchthingasnaughty mentalhealth #bedtime

Sometimes the slump wins.

And maybe that’s ok.

Because what if sitting in the slump isn’t failure — but a pause?

Some days are not for rising. They’re for resting.

Feeling in a slump may be your body asking for softness and surrender - not strategy

So - maybe with a ‘slump’ we don’t need to force ourselves out of it, analyse it, or turn it into a self-improvement project.

In fact - maybe we welcome it - trusting this is what our nervous system NEEDS

Maybe we just need to say:
“Ok. I’m here. This is where I am today.”

Hunker down a little.
Call the friend who offers safety and comfort
Go for a walk.
Stand barefoot in the grass.
Tidy one drawer. Or the fridge. Or nothing at all.

Tiny things can shift the weather inside us.

And if today is a slump day, it helps to trust and have faith that it won’t be forever.

Small steps can help change the weather inside ☀️

#mental #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealth

For so long, we mistook the stiff upper lip for resilience.

We thought strength meant swallowing our feelings, staying composed, carrying on.

But true resilience is not the absence of pain — it is the experience of feeling pain, moving through it, and discovering that we can survive it.

For children, this is not something they should have to do alone.

To build resilience they need a steady adult beside them: someone who is not afraid of their sadness, who does not rush to fix it, or explain it away - but someone who can help them feel without getting lost in the feeling.

Here’s a short reel with some tips I hope you may find helpful

And if FEELING feels alien .. there’s lots I can share for you too 😉❤️

Sending all love and thank you for the very many messages … and for sharing your stories - I hope in the sharing it helps for your own emotions and story to feel witnessed and honoured 🙏🏼

#grief #griefjourney #parenting #emotional

Grief is not one single emotion to be fixed, but a human response to loss that asks to be honoured

If we allow ourselves to sit with sadness, gently, honestly - and not be consumed by it - we show our children that difficult emotions can be felt, held - and importantly - moved through

I’ll be sharing more in the coming days on how we can support ourselves and our children experience loss with tenderness, safety, and connection

The garden is my ‘safe place’ and was something I enjoyed enormously with my mum … I’m so thrilled to be working with @thechildrenssociety @project.giving.back @patrick_clarke_landscapes for @the_rhs as we too will explore how nature helps us to sit with difficult emotions and processes & retire our nervous system to balance - I look forward to sharing more on this too 🌳🌳🤍#parenting #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

I feel as though I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time

Last summer my dear mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Having initially chosen to forgo treatment, she later discovered a clinical trial and requested to take part. At 83, having chemotherapy and immunotherapy was no mean feat, but mum showed incredible bravery and stoicism as she returned each week for treatment. It was as much she said, to help her have more time , as to help others who were sadly in the same situation

The trial drugs showed great promise and mum’s tumour shrank by 42 %

Sadly, however the cancer caught up with her and she passed, peacefully and with great grace on Wednesday 8th April

I am grateful for so much - and my sisters and I know how lucky we are to have had mum with us for as long as we did.

My relationship with my mum was complex and had not been without difficulty in earlier decades. I attribute therapy to being able to heal the wounds that existed - and for being able to love my mum - and come to a enjoy a great sense of peace and understanding between us that saw us forge the most beautiful bond in our later years

It means I am able now to remember her for all the good times and all the wonderful things she did - and the joy she brought and support she gave to all in her family.I shall remember her laugh, her sense of style, her logic, intelligence, her protection and love for her family and her extraordinary energy and capacity to ‘do’

Sharing a carousel then in honour of Patricia Ann Silverton 29th April 1942 - 8th April 2026

Fly well mum and give dad a big kiss from us all

BBC news presenter Kate Silverton stepped back from her career in journalism in 2021 to fulfil her ambition of becoming a child therapist. She joins Izzy Judd on The Music & Meditation Podcast to explore the role of meditation and therapy in emotional self-regulation, and to help listeners connect with their inner child. Listen to the fascinating conversation in full on BBC Sounds.

The beautiful music for Kate's guided meditation in this episode was composed by Millicent James and recorded by the BBC Singers.

Our fears and own childhood conditioning can quietly drive our parenting.

We may tell ourselves: “If I give in now, they’ll never be resilient.”
“If I rescue them, they’ll give up easily.”

But here’s the nervous-system truth:
Resilience isn’t built by being ‘thrown in at the deep end’

Resilience is built when a child’s fear is first met with connection.

When your child is afraid - perhaps trying something for the first time or having a wobble about a swim class or drama lesson - take a breath - this is not how it’s always going to be - your childjust needs you right now to settle them .. when they feel you’re with them — steady, calm, anchored — their body can settle… and THEN they can exercise that resilience muscle !

So instead of pushing harder, try:
“I can see you’re scared sweetheart - can you help mummy / daddy understand why? .”
“I’m right here. It’s ok. I’m with you.”
“Come, let me sit with you”
“I’ll ask the teacher if I can watch you this week!’

Support first. Safety first.
And from that safe harbour… bravery grows.

#parenting #nervoussystem #emotionalregulation #gentleparenting #resilience childdevelopment attachment traumainformed thebiologyofbelonging

It's #ChildrensMentalHealthWeek! Watch Place2Be's launch video with 15 fantastic charities for this year's theme 'This is My Place'. 💛

Together, we’re championing the power of belonging, encouraging families, schools and communities to create inclusive, nurturing spaces where every child feels seen, heard and accepted.

Special thanks to our amazing narrator and Ambassador, @katesilverton , and the students of @londonscreenacademy

Charities featured: @earlychildhood, @NationalPortraitGallery, @BookTrust, @footballbeyondborders, @BAFTA, @the_rhs, @BSAC, @LangLangFoundation, @royalphilorchestra, @yvconcerts, @scouts, @RoyalMarsdenNHS, @dianaaward, @centrepointuk

So much of what we have traditionally ( sadly ) called “naughty” behaviour, is actually a sign of a child’s nervous system communicating one thing:

I don’t feel SAFE.

When a child doesn’t feel safe, their brain prioritises survival — scanning, bracing, reacting.

Fight / flight / freeze / flop: the protective states all animals move into under stress.

If your child is feeling what I call “fizzy” — frightened or overwhelmed — it becomes incredibly hard to listen, learn, cooperate, or think clearly.

So, as we begin @_place2be Children’s Mental Health Week — whether we’re parents, teachers, or caregivers — the first question we must ask when a child’s behaviour is big (or confusing) is:

Do they feel safe?

And then we can move away from:
“What’s WRONG with you?!”

towards:

“What’s going on for you right now?”

…and then “How can I help?”

Because when we offer a child safe haven (even when their seas are stormy), their nervous system can settle, and then their behaviour will settle too.

In There’s No Such Thing As ‘Naughty’ and There’s STILL No Such Thing As ‘Naughty’ I share the science behind all the big, challenging behaviours — and explain why it’s the nervous system we must first consider, not “naughty”

I’d love to hear all the ways you now put your child’s emotional safety FIRST .. and any questions you may have if this is possibly the first time you have heard behaviour explained this way …

I’ll be here throughout the week sharing simple ways to build felt safety at home and in the classroom. 🌊🫶

#parenting #parentingtips #katesilverton #theresnosuchthingasnaughty childrensmentalhealthweek mentalhealth

Big behaviour after school isn’t “naughty”.
It’s dysregulation.

Stomping. Snapping. Pushing back. Tears. Rage. Silence.

That’s your child’s nervous system saying: “I’ve held it together all day… and now I can’t.”

All day long our children will have been carrying things we didn’t see:
navigating friendships, concentrating, being corrected, coping with noise, rules, expectations, hormones, hunger, tiredness… sometimes a quiet worry they can’t name.

Home is where the lid comes off.

Our job isn’t to fix it in that moment.
Our job is to be the container.

Not problem-solving. Not interrogating. Not correcting.

But soothing. Listening. Being close enough to say:

“I hear you.”
“That sounds really hard.”
“No WONDER you’re feeling a bit rubbish / fizzy / cross’”

If it feels alien to meet your child’s emotional state with a soothing one — it may be because no-one met YOUR big feelings with tenderness - and this is where you’re not alone.

Meeting crossness with compassion can make us feel conflicted or even “patronising”.

But when you meet your child authentically in their anguish, it’s medicine.

Every time we meet dysregulation with warmth, we’re doing something profound:
we’re teaching our children’snervous system that relationships are safe… and that feelings are survivable.

That’s not indulgence.
That’s future mental health.

🫶 What does after-school look like in your house?

#TherapeuticParenting #AfterSchoolMeltdown #NervousSystemSupport #EmotionalRegulation #ConnectionBeforeCorrection GentleParenting AttachmentParenting CoRegulation BigFeelings NotNaughty ParentingSupport ChildMentalHealth RaiseResilientKids HoldTheBoundaryHoldTheChild ParentingTools

Welcome home …

#cedrusdeodaraaurea
#acercampestre
#taxusbaccata
#newadditiontothefamily❤️
#soothing